ONCE upon a time, there was a beautiful Princess who was being wooed by a suitor, Prince CHARMING. Now CHARMING really had the gift of the gab and told the young Princess that DESTINY had brought them together. He remained persistent, doing everything he could to win her heart, until the young Princess finally gave in to him.

However, her father, King LARRY, wasn't that keen, as he'd heard a rumour that CHARMING was off his ROCKER.

So, to make sure he wasn't just some CRAZY fool, EARLY one morning the King engaged the services of a notorious BANDIT named BOBBY G VIDEOS to spy on CHARMING and see if he could get the bigger picture on him.

But BOBBY G VIDEOS knew this was a job that needed more than one man, so he enlisted the help of an old CAPTAIN named BIG JOHN and his trusted partner ANDY.

BIG JOHN said, "Nah man! Yuh av dat MIX-UP. Him is a COOL dude from outta di HOOD."

When King LARRY heard this, he said, "alWRIGHTY then!"

Still not completely convinced, the King decided to call in the one man who could uncover the truth — the Royal Secret Service's finest agent, JAMES BOND 007.

After a thorough investigation, JAMES BOND 007 reported back to the King.

"Your Majesty, I've checked CHARMING from every angle. The man is clean. No funny business, no secret wives, no hidden kingdoms. He's genuinely in love with your daughter."

King LARRY nodded. "Well, if 007 seh so, dat good enough fi me!"

With the King's blessing finally secured, CHARMING went to see his jeweller friend, BRIAN 'GOLD-TEET' LE-ROY, who sold him the biggest DIAMOND ring he had.

News of the Royal wedding spread throughout the kingdom, but there was one problem. A local troublemaker named BULLY RUBEN wasn't happy that he hadn't received his invitation!

He marched up to the palace gates demanding to be let in, but ANDY stepped forward and said, "Easy now, BULLY RUBEN. No need fi mash up the Royal wedding!"

Luckily, BULLY RUBEN saw the funny side, and after the King personally handed him an invitation, peace was restored to the kingdom.

King LARRY placed an advert in the local newspaper announcing the Royal wedding and even laid on GILLY transport so everyone could get there in style.

The couple were married in the church of St STEPHEN, down by the River JORDAN.

Everyone agreed that the Princess looked absolutely divine in her ancient Greek MAXIE wedding dress, while Prince CHARMING couldn't take his eyes off his beautiful bride.

The wedding reception was held at King LARRY'S YARD, where there was fabulous food including steamed cabbage, rice 'n' peas and sea bass, expertly prepared by the Royal chefs, Sugar Cane DWAIN and Jookie Jerky BLACKIE.

Even BULLY RUBEN behaved himself once he saw the food!

As evening fell, DJ ANDY took control of the decks and the music was supplied by 4TUNE FM, the kingdom's number one SELECTOR for such grand occasions.

Even JAMES BOND 007 loosened his bow tie and joined the dance floor.

And as King LARRY looked around at everyone dancing and enjoying themselves, he smiled and said:

"Now THIS is what yuh call a Royal 4TUNE FM wedding!"

And they all lived happily ever after...

THE END